The irony that social media can be an amazing way to connect and share, but also the source of so much anxiety and comparison is not lost on me. If I am 100% honest, I have been a social media recluse of late because to be blunt, this year has been tough. For all of the progress we have made, at times it’s like dragging ourselves through a mud pit to get to the next step. Matt literally dragged himself through mud earlier this year (I, of course, chose the sensible option of a cup of tea and a blanket!). So it seems an apt analogy.
Seeing the constant ‘highlights’ in others’ journeys (property related or not), caused pangs of inadequacy in the way I saw myself. It doesn’t take long to get into a spiral of self-doubt and before you know it, the momentum has gone or you just start to lose faith in yourself.
We entered into the property world with more energy and passion than I’ve felt for any career move before. This was it, this made sense to me and this is where I fit in. We knew we had so much to learn (and it’s definitely not a quick solution to get our dream life), but I literally could not learn it all fast enough.
What I failed to prepare for was that some things aren’t dependent on how hard I work. Some things just don’t go how you planned. We weren’t ignorant, it’s not that we hadn’t thought about and planned for different scenarios and exits; we just hopefully believed that as long as we work hard, everything would be ok.
I was helping out at a property event last month and had the opportunity to hear Sir Clive Woodward talk. Here is someone who knows how to coach, manage and lead others to succeed. I may not understand the sport element, but my biggest ‘ take away’ was his ability to teach his team to think correctly under pressure. To think about all the things that could go wrong and how you would deal with it, thus preparing your ability to react to stressful situations and keep your head.
This was an ‘aha’ moment for me. It’s funny because one of my own personal struggles is a battle with OCD thoughts and checking. So I am usually the ‘best’ at coming up with a million potential outcomes to any situation and the thought of encouraging myself to do this on purpose is a frightening one, (it’s something I work on to keep under control). But maybe there is a way I can harness what I usually see as a weakness and use it in a more healthy productive way? Rather than my usual approach to think of them all and feel panic, to actually create the solutions in advance. Interesting.
So as I write this I have been in a state of brain fog. We have projects to plan, paperwork mountains, re-finances, disputes, big goals to achieve, as well as our personal goals; getting fitter, eating better, joining classes to establish myself in a new town. That is a lot of spinning plates and I feel like a few of them are starting to teeter. This is where I need to hit ‘pause’, to slow down the whirlwind around me like something out of a Marvel film and figure out the solutions, one at a time. I also have to fight the urge to isolate myself and get through on my own.
We are fortunate to be part of a huge network of people all striving towards their goals, with the experience we can draw on. I need to learn that reaching out isn’t defeat. So a few cups of tea on, I will keep the faith after all, we have a 100% success rate of getting through every difficult situation so far.
When you need to re-focus, remember what’s good and what you can do to change the tide. This week;
-A catch up booked in with our mentor
-Our friends we have met continue to inspire us and be a huge source of encouragement and kindness
-We have these situations because we are taking action and trying something new
-We have each other to count on always
-If all else fails, there is always tea.